permission to FEEL.

Choose your way to engage: play the podcast audio, listen on YouTube, or read the reflection below.

Giving yourself… Permission to Feel

Let’s face it: we often wear our “I’m good” masks like badges of honor. Society has a way of making us think that keeping it all inside is a sign of strength, but let’s get real, bottling up emotions isn’t strength; it’s just survival mode. We might think we’re handling things like champs, but in reality, we’re just one minor inconvenience away from an emotional explosion. Okay, maybe that’s a bit dramatic, but maybe not? In this post, I want to talk about giving yourself “Permission to FEEL” and not just the happy emotions, but all the messy, beautiful experiences that come with being human.

Throughout my life, I’ve had folks suggest I should tone it down a bit, that maybe my edge was a touch too sharp. I’ve been told to keep things positive so I wouldn’t lose anyone along the way. Someone even mentioned that my black-and-white take on certain topics might come off as offensive; trust me, I’ve heard it all. But here’s the truth: we all have a YAH-given right to be our true selves. We’re meant to feel a whole spectrum of emotions and show up fully, not just in bits and pieces. And the beautiful part about being authentically you is that the people who are meant to ride with you will ride!

Sometimes, it’s not just the voices from the outside urging us to tone it down; our own internal thoughts can play a significant role in suggesting we stay hidden and suppress our feelings. We’ve got to catch ourselves in those moments and remember it’s totally okay to let it all out!

Did you know it’s quite ok to feel? Let’s say you’ve poured your soul into something, whether it’s a song, a project, or just showing up as yourself, and it feels unseen or unheard, it’s okay to feel the weight of that. We often push ourselves to keep going, telling ourselves “it’s fine” and just move forward. But if we don’t allow those genuine, human feelings to come up, we’re only pushing our true selves down deeper.

It’s great being optimistic, but I’m learning that embracing reality is just as important. Society often sends the message that expressing disappointment or anger is ungrateful, or that acknowledging hardship is wrong. The truth is, many people see any expression of frustration or sadness as “negative energy” or simply complaining. They’ll say things like “Just get through it, be strong, keep going.” And while it’s good to have people in your life who’ll encourage you to stand back up, we also need people who will sit with us in distress, hold space, and say “I’m here. It’s okay to feel this.”

It’s interesting to say the least how this lack of permission to “feel” even shows up in places where we expect authenticity. I’ve been part of spaces where the music and messages were all about praise and feeling uplifted. But no amount of “good vibes” can erase the very real heartaches, frustrations, and challenges that people carry with them. And yet, we’re expected to show up and keep smiling, as if struggles and sorrow don’t have a place in those spaces too. The reality is they do. Not everything is a complaint. Sometimes, it’s simply the truth. How can you heal if you don’t feel?

And this isn’t just about personal obstacles, there are larger forces that affect us, and they don’t just disappear if we ignore them. Take the political climate as an example. People are feeling everything from anger to fear, sadness to hope. For communities like mine that have been marginalized or discriminated against, there’s an added layer of grief and frustration when their histories and experiences are so easily dismissed.

Look at the current conversation around Trump. His rhetoric and behavior lately has often been compared to figures like Hitler, with people in media rightly talking about the horrors of the Holocaust. But so rarely do we hear about the ongoing impact of African Americans’ history: the trans-atlantic slave trade, Jim Crow, systemic racism and the millions of deaths. It’s almost like that history is erased and our pain is overlooked. That absence of acknowledgment is a perpetual trauma. It’s a deep reminder of the generational trauma that remains with us. And it’s not just a social issue; it’s a spiritual one. For me, it calls to a return to the ways of Yah, a path towards healing and guidance that we desperately need.

So here I am, allowing myself to feel the entire spectrum of emotion. Does that mean I’m not thankful? Not at all. I’m thankful for every blessing I’ve been given. I can pour hope and healing into worship songs like “Praise Don’t Stop” and “Joy U Bring,” finding shalom and comfort for my soul. But alongside that appreciation, there’s also room for sadness, anger, and disappointment. And I’m no longer willing to manage it for anyone else's preferences.

If you’re here for the celebrations and the good vibes, great! But know that life isn’t just ice cream parties. There will be days when I show up with the raw truth of my experiences. And that’s okay because it’s all part of being me, being real, and sharing my life, vulnerabilities and all. To anyone who has ever felt the need to hold back their true feelings, know this: it's okay to feel. Not every day requires a silver lining; sometimes we just need to embrace what's real and create a space for each other to do the same.

Know I AM loved, even in my tears,
Heard without judgment, free from fears.
In a safe place, I can pause my trying;
“I got you!” are words Yah’s underlining.
Take a deep breath, exhale it all;
Remember, strength isn’t always about appearing strong.

P.S. I invite you to listen to some healing vibes, stroll through my website at www.octavialifemusic.com and let the music keep your head up and shoulders back! My suggested album right now is “Most High.”

🩵🙏🏽😊🎵

Octavia